I’m serious, if I ever made it to be a big buffy batman-sized or wolverine-sized man, I will.

It is them. The murderers/mutilators/rapist/torturer of Junko Furuta.

1. Hiroshi Miyano
2. Yuzuru Ogura (Jo Kamisaku)
3. Nobuharu Minato
4. Yasushi Watanabe

It is those above who murder/rape/mutilate/torture Junko Furuta. They are animals.

It really makes me wonder how sick humanity has already become. How twisted our mind is. We watch violent movies, but those above ARE the violent movies. It is real.

The worst part is, those mentioned above are now free men. They were still under-aged when the crime was committed. They were between the age of 17 and 18. At that age, they are tried as juveniles and their sentence lasts only for 10 years.

10 years. That is all.

Well it really makes us wonder. What are we capable of? As I can see it, the weakest link in humanity still lives on. Screw Darwin’s theory of Evolution. Evolving means improving. This is not improving. In fact, I don’t think any creation of God out there is capable of doing this. Only humanity, have the capabilities etc. Humanity, is going to the dumps. Even our stupid laws and governs can’t help anymore.

What are we teaching our children? What are we doing? Where are the ethics? The morals? The values?

I don’t think hell is enough for them.

They are out there and free. Really makes me wonder what are they capable of. They were 17, 20 years ago. Now? Who knows what they have done. Even if they repent, I wouldn’t hesitate to throw the first stone to their death.

To you people who thinks this is normal because this is the way humanity is becoming… I say you’re no different than the ones that killed the girl.

God help us all.

Yeap, there I go again.

I really want to see a counsellor, no I do not want to see my school’s counsellor, she’ll scold me and maybe drive me to suicide instead.

Anyways, my life has been shit.
Period.

I can’t enjoy things to the fullest. Nor can I do the things I enjoy.

For one, I seriously unable to enjoy the last 2 weeks of my prefect duties, I’m sick of it. I can’t go parties, festivals bla bla bla.

I can’t even say I like myself in the mirror.

Even when it comes to blogging, I am restricted. Can’t say stuff that I want. The school administrators stalks students’ blogs, my church members can’t shut up if there’s something about my personal life I reveal. Screw you all la. BLOGGING LA! Can’t leave me alone is it? I can’t say what I like in the real world, not even on my OWN BLOG?!

C’mon la aunties, uncles, church leaders. I know you all freakin’ care about me. No need to hebohkan to the whole church wan. I like deleted 4 blogs last time just to shut you all up. Heck, I can’t even have a normal and OPEN relationship with a girl without you all starting to yap.

I can’t say “I love you XXX” in this very blog without you all having this expression:

and go like “ oh Lord Jesus forgive him…..” or even “ MY GOD! They’re together? MUST ask the mum”.

C’mon la, 21st century ad la. Acting like those ancient chinese elders which might protest in order to stuff me in a pig cage and drown me.

I know you all care for me la. I know! But I want you all to keep it to yourself and know for a fact that I’m 17 now. I can think. I have a freakin’ brain that God gave in case you all didn’t read the Bibie. Cause frankly, I’m entitled to my OWN decisions.

you wanna act all childish and go “ yer! bad boy!” be my guest. Cause I have this for you:

its my freakin life you’re messing with

Kinda feeling lethargic these days. Every morning when I wake up, I felt like I had not slept at all. It felt like I lie on bed, close my eyes, five minutes later I wake up

What la?!

I think I’m like this at night

No way though. I do get constantly get woken up suddenly. Like: sleep, wake, sleep, wake.

I seriously do not know what’s up with me… ish ish. I previously thought it was one of those sudden hunger pangs that wake me up. So I ate like 3 Ramli Burgers before I slept. I was sure I slept soundly through the night. Just that when I wake up, I feel as tired as I never slept in the first place. It must be the constant auto-reminders in my mind that constantly reminds me of my never-ending obligations as a son, brother, friend, cousin, student, prefect bla bla bla.

Speaking of obligations, I’m retiring as prefect next two weeks! WOOOHOO. These three years as a prefect has been a wild ride. Can’t wait. And what’s better, the Prefects’ Retirement Day/ Annual Dinner will be held at Boulevard Hotel! Bring on the BUFFET! WHOOOHOO!

which means

more food

Oh yea….

There we go again

Yes, I am yet down as hell. Wait….hell isn’t low enough

It is hard for me to gain approval, easy for others EXCEPT me. Everything I do has got some negative comments. “ not you”, “old one better”, “ too much”, “useless”, “what’s the point”

I say what the f***

is it so hard to say….."hey, not bad”
wait, that’s not what you truly feel is it? Might as well just smile and say eff off instead of lying straight in my face

I’ve seen, heard, felt too much lies in my life, either to put me down, or to give me FALSE hope

Where is God? I really doubt His existence sometimes. Seeing what the hell has been going on with my life, I think I know that God decided to screw me upside down. To “mold me”. Well, please stop molding, its getting out of shape.

Who am I? I still can’t find myself. Should I be myself? Even if it means being hated? I’ve lost myself, I do not know who is it that is in this empty vessel. I can’t see myself anymore. I do everything for the sake of others and to please others. I never asked myself what I want. Till the time I finally asked myself what am I, I too do not know the answer.

I’ve lost myself

lies lies lies
I’ve been associated with it all my life. I’m a liar to myself, my family, friends, everyone. Who am I?

tell me

who am I?

ALRIGHTY THEN!

Since its so darn seldom to feel so uplifted as now, I would like to ask of a small favour.

 
PLEASE!!

As you all can see above….the design I do like can’t fit to me new background. So please please please help me design  one can? Pretty pleeease

IF you are interested, 
                         1. Mail your design to kchi_92@yahoo.com
                         2. Must have the title”Life and Times of a Sullen Mind”
                         3. No pink, yellow (girly colours)
                         4. Matches this blog’s background

If your design is SELECTED, I would publicly THANK YOU and PROMOTE your DESIGN and BLOG kau kau like mad, to show my appreciation. I might even throw in a kiss

So help me out can?

THANK YOU!

I’ve been singing that to myself a lot lately

 

I wanna let go

 

But I can’t somehow, its like I’m forever doomed to climb this circle of rope…
God help us all

Enough to compose a great song for it

 

Darn, wish I know how to compose a song for Megan Fox my cat