Inefficiency

The title says it all!

I am inefficient, I agree to that. BUT! There are others as well ok? Check these videos out!

LOL

Way to commemorate the fact that there’s only 8 days left to SPM. Oh wow.

11 Years Ago

I bet ya know don’t know which one is me xD

Lol, can guess? The answer is: Top row, third from the left. HAHA

Gosh, my head looked so round! It’s like shining ya know? I certainly didn’t remember being that BALD. lol

11 years. That’s how long. Memories are still so fresh in my mind.

I could still remember my struggles as I cope with the new Mandarin language as a medium of communication.
I remembered (and still keep contact) with the girl who sat beside me then (who coincidently was in the same kindergarden as I am! lol).
I still can’t forget the first time ever I was called ugly.( i still remember who you are xD)

The 6 years after 11 years ago (1999-2004 la), during that time, I used to think Primary School life sucks. (Yes, I started emo-ing at a young age.) But now, I wanna relive those times again and again. I don’t ever wanna be a teenager.

I’ve grown up la. I face grown up problems. I face the world now. My eyes are wide open now. I wished they were shut, but too bad, they’re opened now. To the ugliness that awaits me out there.

Kinda think of it, there’s people who has stuck with me since primary school.

• Benny Tham Chew Hol
• Ho Seck Wei
• Jeremy Chin Kok Siong
• Ku Wei Xiong
• Phua Cardin
• Louis Tey
• Fam Wai Kit

And Fam Wai Kit, you’ve stuck with me since we were 4 years old man, I appreciate you man. For going through life with me, comrades till the end.

I never forget easily. I may lose those memories, but heck, I still have them somewhere.

Life, I’m gonna make memories out of you.

Post-SPM plans.

I gotta start the planning now, or else I’ll be running out of time.

1. On the day my SPM ends- 8th of December, I’ve informed mummy that I AM NOT GOING HOME that day. Yeap, you heard me. I AM NOT. Where would I go, do, with whom? I do not know, bottom line is I won’t be home that day. Where would I go? Most probably around KL, with whom? So far I think alone. lol. UNLESS anyone of you all wanna accompany me la!

2. On the day SPM Chinese Paper ends- The same thing, I’m not going home that day. Go where, do what all those I don’t know.

3. Youth Christmas!- On the 18th of December, there’ll be a MASSIVE Youth Christmas Celebration at my church, The Hope of Glory Centre. If you consider yourself a youth, COME! Contact me @ kchi_92@yahoo.com or call/text me at 0163860436 for more info. I’m the EMCEE for the night yo!

4. Christmas Eve- I wanna go out. Anyone interested to spend it with me? Preferably non-family members la, since I spend EVERY Christmas Eve with them.

5. Christmas- Church in the morning, maybe Christmas Lunch at Joann’s place? xD

6. New Year’s Eve- Same thing, I won’t go home that night. Who wanna join me? OR rather, can I join anyone?

7. January- Will be working at my mum’s kindergarden for some time, RM20 for half a day yo! RM 40 per day for full day! I am so gonna work there! Weekends will be free~

8. February- CNY, as usual I will be away, this time Bangkok! Woohooo!! Shopping expenses all on my parents =)

9. Backpacking Trip- OKay la! I’m asking you all like banyak kali ad ah! WHO WANNA COME WITH ME ON A BACKPACKING TRIP TO TAIPING-PENANG-IPOH!? If no one wants then I’m freaking going ALONE! Really! No shit, I’m gonna go there ALONE if none of you all are serious in joining in. I asked like million of people ad, all say can’t. So if you want, contact me. It’ll be the 3 weeks (more or less) AFTER CNY.
**Ps: If I’m going alone, no one is able to contact me for 3 weeks =)

10. Driving- This shall be a ticket to total freedom (minus traffic jams). Gonna say hello to LOADS of Mamak-ing with Mamak Gang and more Nuffnang Movie Screenings.

11. Starbucks- Yes, people, I’ve NEVER BOUGHT ANY STARBUCKS BEFORE IN MY LIFE. Big deal, yea right. Lol. Well, screw me for not buying one till now la! Its like sex, everyone is doing it, then when you’re not, people like WAAAAA. So screw it, I’m gonna buy one. Sex part, I’m gonna stay a virgin.

12. Virginity- Hell no. I’m keeping it. It’s a big deal for me ya know? I’m not gonna waste it. AND I WILL NEVER DO IT WITH ANYONE WHO HAS DONE IT BEFORE. NEVER. Come on la, it’s supposed to be something special la, besides, if you’re no longer a virgin, how do I know how many you’ve done before me? It’s a special thing, call me old-fashioned, but hell no.

13. Scholarship Hunting- Need not elaborate much on this.

14. Travelling- Gonna do lots of it, I plan to cover Sabah and Sarawak, (yes Eunice, I’m coming over) lol

15. Parkour- Gonna have fun hurting myself ^^

 

SPM, faster come, faster go k?

Rantings. Ramblings. Life.

SPM. It is near. What the FUnkymusic am I doing?

I hate it when bad things happen to me, its worse if so many bad things happen to me in a instant. God purposely wanna screw me lo. Can I say lol?

Which reminds me, if I say “fuck” people say, “dont so rude can onot?”. When I don’t say and be good, people say I “holy moly”. Hey, I live to please you all is it?

Yea, I live to please. FML Screw me.

God, if I knew life is gonna be like this, why la?  I mean, if there’s a button to erase my existence, I’d do it. Then, I won’t make people upset, I won’t be going through all these things. Damn la, I dulan you know? It is as if You purposely screw me upside down. TO MOLD me, I know, but I THINK You’re overdoing it God. BUT, its according to Your Divine Plan, what in the world can I do? Nothing, but to press on? Cover myself with bruises and scars, WHICH would be painful reminders in the future.

Pain, everyone has to go through it somehow, but why does mine seem so, everlasting?

Romantic people are emo. That’s the reality of it.

I gonna think romance doesn’t exist, somehow. It’s more like, Nature’s Selection. You’re good enough? Then you can give me better-looking and more attractive face to wake up to every morning, and maybe you’d give me better-lookin babies too!

Is that it God? Natural Selection, the continuation of better genes.

All those who still believe in love, raise your hand! *looks around, raise hand a little*

Stupid emo John Mayer songs. “Keep me where the light is~” and all the Gravity-ness

Twitter, you never cared, do ya?
Blog, you listened, you couldn’t lift a finger.
Msn, you never freaking say hi.
Handphone, you’ve been awfully quiet for 2 months now.
Facebook, its not my face you see.
Family, you all can never know, or else you all gonna overreact
Friends, you know everything, you tried to help. Kinda failed, but thanks anyway.
Me, screwed till the max already.
Life, no comments for you la.
God, should I say thank You or what?

Just keep me where the light is….

Loads of plans coming up after SPM. I need them.

All American Rejects!!

It is safe to conclude that my Halloween Day has been a blast for 2 years in a row!!

Last year I had my first clubbing experience at a Nuffnang event,

This year, I have All American Rejects concert! Thanks to Digi and of course Elaine Chooi and Steven Boo for the tickets so that my siblings could come along!

One for me, one for brother, one for sister.

Yes, I’m a great brother xD.

Well I had to rush home from class party and I reached Bukit Jalil at 3.50pm.

Line in front of me at 3.50pm.

The line behind me at 4.00p.m.

The siblings and I. Yes Victoria, the ‘gam mou’ is my brother. LOL

Yes, the line, it didn’t matter in the end, we just cut straight through xD.

Met bloggers there,

 
From left, Jeffrey, Siew Mei, Victoria Poh, Joseph Lee and I

And like I said, the line didn’t matter in the end

 
Try spotting me! ( and my brother’s “gam mou” golden hair)

First up were to local acts. Frankly we didn’t care about them, sadly they know it too. BUT, they did put up a good show la.

 

and lain-lain xD. And then it rained! It’s so COOL!! Then AAR came up, and gosh they took like 20 minutes to prepare!! Well, the wait was worth it though.

 
Eerie shot of Tyson Ritter. He looked high on drugs? lol

see what I mean? Lol

 
Sister @ Headbanging Partner of the Night

Anyways, if pictures paint a thousand words, video tells everything. Lol, enjoy. Sorry for the frequent earthquake simulations, its AAR! How not to rock!? lol

Move Along

 

Falling Apart

 

Swing Swing

I Wanna

I Wanna part 2

Mona Lisa (ending)

Real World (sorta freaky)

It Ends Tonight

Give You Hell

Give You Hell (part 2)

Bottom line is

This concert rocked

 

 

Note to self:

late night Old Town White Coffee with siblings after a concert=crazy teenagers

 

and yes, I know. SPM is near. So what? SPM ‘big all’ ah?

Yes, SPM ‘big all’. I’m scared. lol

Angel

Youtube, you never fail to show me songs/videos that might make me cry

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There’s always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight
In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference
Escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You’re in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

 

 

kinda think of it, damn you emo songs

Solemn

First and foremost, if u dulan me, behsong me, hate me, loathe me, dislike me or whatever.
The you should

TOTALLY IGNORE THIS POST

But then again, if u dulan me, behsong me, hate me, loathe me, dislike me or whatever, you won’t be in viewing this blog in the first place right?

So I shall embark on this.

A dark road. Yea, this is where I always picture myself standing. No lights, no street lamps. Just a road. No sun. No nothing. Just a road.

And I’m all alone. Sitting there.

Sure, there’ll occasionally be cars passing by but, none of them stop. None.

I’m a loner, emotionally I mean. I keep everything in me, or at least in this blog too. My mum doesn’t know a single thing, so does my siblings. My closest dudes know SOME, not all. It’s just how I grow up you see. I grow up keeping negative emotions in me, forcing a smile upon my face. Sometimes it’s hard. But I’ll somehow manage. But when I can’t take it, I’ll find a quiet spot, and cry alone. No shoulders, no ears. Just me.

Sometimes I just can’t take it ya know? God is there, but is He really there? I doubt sometimes. Sometimes I feel like disappearing, erasing every proof of my existence. I sometimes even imagine myself disintegrate, along with photos, my stuff, everything that has me in it. Even memories.

I can say I wished I wasn’t born.

I often tell this to my friends who are sad, “if you’re sad about this, try being me. You’ll commit suicide” , then I start sharing. I feel better this way, using myself as an example to lift people up. The drawback is, I don’t have anyone to lift me up. (well, except my emo buddy Eunice la) but even she doesn’t really know what’s going on with me.

Yea, you may say it is my problem, I should open myself up. Well yea, screw me, i don’t want to. The last time I opened myself up, i cut myself real deep. There’s a scar there as a reminder.

I try not to make myself too connected to anyone now. I isolate myself. I’m afraid of being more hurt la basically, the last time I get too emotionally attached to someone, and it didn’t work out, it feels like your own heart stop beating on purpose to kill you, know what I mean? Amputation, it feels like that too, its like being so used to have that something there, and when it’s gone, you still feel it, but its not there anymore. No more. Read more about phantom limb pains, you’ll get the idea.

What’s worse, SPM is coming.

Screwed myself to the max